Tuesday 8 August 2017

5 things I don't miss about being pregnant

My Timehop keeps reminding me of how pregnant I was this time last year. My daily memories are littered with newly bought sleepsuits, whale-like selfies and being busy making lasting memories with my only child before she stopped being just that. It seems like a lifetime ago now, it’s hard to believe that it was just a year ago that I was sobbing my way down the canal footpath in an attempt to walk the baby out. I thought I’d write a little post detailing the things I don’t miss about being pregnant to go alongside the post of things I thought I would miss once the pregnancy was over. So, here are five things I don’t miss about being pregnant:

1. The capsule wardrobe
I’m not really into fashion, I don’t spend loads on clothes, I am a simple woman with simple clothing needs. I like what I like, and, as long as I have enough of that, I’m good. That said, pregnancy pushed things a little far, even for me. I just didn’t have enough clothes. I was doing ok at the start, but by the time I had ballooned out to the size of the Titanic, I was running a little low on garments. Nothing fit and everything looked terrible. It is a relief to be human-sized again and have access to a wardrobe filled with clothes.

2. All the heartburn
Heartburn is the worst. It’s not something I had ever encountered before I fell pregnant with Ebony, but it is something that plagued me for the final trimester of both of my pregnancies. Every single thing I ate used to give me heartburn. And it’s not like I could just take some Omeprazole acid reflux capsules, pregnancy makes pretty much every ailment even more complicated to treat. Instead, I had to avoid eating in the evening (ha), avoid spicy foods (haha) and avoid lying down (hahaha). So, yeah, I had heartburn all the time and sleeping propped upright is impossible, especially when your middle is spherical.

3. Insomnia
Sleeping is impossible when pregnant. It’s impossible to get comfortable, you have to pee every eight seconds and you can’t physically roll over without the help of a crane. Add to this, the busy mind filled with unfinished to-do lists, budgeting and general baby-related freakouts and you have got yourself another night of laying wide awake. I can nap pretty well during pregnancy, but I spend my nights wide eyed and exhausted as my brain works on overdrive. I don’t miss that.

4. The bad taste in my mouth
When I was pregnant with Ebony, I had a metallic taste in my mouth for the first couple of months. I binge ate polo mints to try and rid my mouth of the hideous metal taste. During my second pregnancy, the metallic taste was replaced by the taste of a leaky sewage pipe. And it last not a couple of months, but five whole months. And polo mints made it worse. Nothing helped. For months, all I could taste was donkey ass. It was gross. I’m glad it’s over.

5. The stretching
I bet you thought this was going to be about birth-related stretching, didn’t you? Ha, no. It’s weird to feel the skin on your stomach stretch, it feels pretty much how you imagine. Hot and tight and uncomfortable. I felt it first during the second trimester as my belly started to grow. By the end of the pregnancy, my entire body felt like it was about to explode as my skin was pulled tightly across my bump. I had daily baths and lathered myself in coconut oil in an attempt to soothe the discomfort, but, of course, it didn’t really make much of a difference. Also, fine, the other stretching is horrid, too.

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