Monday, 20 January 2020

Pregnancy Update: 19 Weeks

The baby is apparently the size of a Game Boy now, though I fear it may actually be the size of one of those giant early computers that took up a whole room. Certainly, I am the size of a room now.

I can't decide if the pregnancy is going fast or slow. Some weeks seem to fly by and others it seems like time is standing still. I don't feel like I am very productive at the moment, I keep setting myself a list of things to do each week and then the week is over and I haven't done then. I don't know whether to blame pregnancy or January, but whatever it is, I hope it passes soon.

I have felt huge this week. All of a sudden, my coat seems to be straining over my bump. I am sure I am too big for 19 weeks, which isn't exactly reassuring for a big-baby-maker such as myself. I am trying to ignore it and focus on the fact that it's too late to worry about whether this baby will be huge or not. It's going to have to come out one way or another. 

I've done lots of walking this week. I've started going straight from school drop off in the morning. I should really be coming home to work, but then I can't go walking until the evening and by then I'm usually too exhausted to leave the house. So, I've been walking each morning and ignoring the fact that I should really be trying to earn money. I do a 5 km loop around my local area. I've been listening to Your Baby, Your Birth by Hollie de Cruz (this is an affiliate link). It's a hypnobirthing book that I'm hoping will prepare me for the birth. It's nice taking a little time out of each day to focus on the pregnancy and de-stress. 

I had SPD in both my previous pregnancies. It was worst with Ebony, but with Ember I was able to control it. This time, I think it's somewhere in the middle so far. I've found it more uncomfortable than last time, but I at least know what I'm doing now so I can keep it in check. I think walking helps, so I've been trying to exercise regularly. It was particularly bad one night last week, so I did a pregnancy yoga tutorial from YouTube. Ember did it with me, and I felt so much better afterwards. 

In general, it just feels like I've been kicked hard in the crotch. It's not pleasant, but it's also not awful. I sleep with a pillow between my knees, and try to take care not to sit funny or unbalance myself throughout the day. If I do too much, the pain spreads to my lower back and that is particularly uncomfortable but I've found a warm water bottle helps to ease the discomfort. 

Other than the SPD, I don't think I'm having much in the way of symptoms at the moment. I feel exhausted all the time, but I'm not sure that's anything new. I've been going to bed really early and reading for an hour or two before bed, but I still don't feel like I'm getting enough sleep. 

I have an anterior placenta so this baby doesn't seem to be as wriggly as my other two. I can't help many movements throughout the day, though I do feel them when I lie down in bed at the end of the day. I'm hoping that the movements will be more obvious as the baby gets bigger (but not too big) because I find it quite worrying not being able to feel many movements. I am used to wriggly babies. I do not like having an anterior placenta so far, if it ends in back to back labour then this will be even worse.

Missed my first trimester update? Catch up here.

Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash

Thursday, 16 January 2020

Pregnancy Update: First Trimester

It feels weird to be writing pregnancy updates again. Three is a lot of children. I haven't written weekly updates so far, though I'm hoping I will from now on. The first trimester was a blur of puking and sleeping and feeling generally awful, so I was in no mood to write. 

We didn't tell many people about the pregnancy during the first trimester. We'd decided not to tell the kids until after the scan, so I didn't want too many other people knowing. It would be so awful if they heard the news from somebody else. I basically only told people I had to, and other than that, I kept it secret. 

Last time, we told everybody really early, so it was nice to keep it to ourselves for longer this time. The first trimester passed slowly, but I think that was more to do with the symptoms than the secrecy. The first trimester is the worst. I was throwing up a lot, but I felt nauseous all day long. I would have momentary relief after throwing up, but then nausea would return. There was a constant bad taste in my mouth, too. 

I found that I wasn't eating much (truly, the most out of character thing ever) because everything made me feel sick. Before the pregnancy, I was eating the best I had in years. No snacks or crap, and plenty of fresh vegetables and fruit. I was taking probiotics and eating kimchi, sauerkraut and (vegan) yoghurt every day to try and build up some healthy gut bacteria. Once nausea started, I ate only beige foods or no foods. Chips and vegannaise was a popular lunch option (Follow Your Heart vegannaise is the best vegan mayo and I won't hear a word against it). 

The smell of all food was making me heave. The kids' diets were severely lacking in this time because cooking anything felt impossible. They ate a lot of oven food and often ended up waiting until Laurie got home so he could cook them something nutritious. Laurie's meals are 70% garlic so then the whole of the downstairs would smell of garlic and I would spend my evenings in my room bitching about the smell. Garlic is truly the worst smell when you are nauseous. 

Nausea aside, I also felt exhausted. I had to cancel so many plans due to tiredness (I even had to pass up seeing Suzi Ruffell which was a particularly low point for me). I was completely lacking in energy (beige food is no good for my energy levels) and so spent most of the first trimester either asleep in bed or moaning on the sofa. I did as little as possible because I had less than no energy. The house reached new lows in terms of tidiness and homeliness. Laurie looked like a walking breakdown because he was having to come home early to feed the kids and get them to bed, then desperately trying to catch up on his work in the evenings(/early hours). 

I think it's safe to say we were both relieved when the first trimester symptoms disappeared.  Although I am still very much not ok with the smell of garlic. Don't even think about eating garlic and then breathing on me. 

Tuesday, 14 January 2020

Reinstating Old Habits for 2020

Welcome to January, the month when dormant bloggers come out to state their intentions to rejoin the land of blog. You may have guessed that I am one of them. I have completely abandoned this blog in recent months (years), though it wasn't a deliberate decision. Having two children is way more time consuming than having one. Who knew. At first, I struggled to find the time, then I struggled to find the brainpower and, finally, I struggled to find the confidence. 

The truth is, I miss it. I am so glad that I have this record of my life as a mother. In truth, I wish I'd started it sooner. I wish I'd written down my thoughts and experiences throughout my whole life. I realise most people do this in a private diary and perhaps there is something strange about putting it all out there for the world to see. When I became a mum, I read so many blogs and I loved knowing that there were other people out there who felt the way I did about motherhood, parenting and the world. 

Lately, I've been re-visiting my old pregnancy blog posts. I wrote weekly updates the whole way through my second pregnancy and I have been reading them to compare this time (oh yes, I am pregnant). It's so nice being able to look back and see that I felt similar (or not) back then. Pregnancy and motherhood are such life-changing events, and at the time you think you'll never forget them, but in truth you do. The memories fade and your recollections get muddled and all of a sudden you can't remember which child did what when. 

This blog has let me keep hold of my memories. It has secured them in time so that I will always be able to find them. They won't fade or disappear, though the bad grammar and terrible writing will make me weep on particularly hormonal days. 

I am 18 weeks pregnant and I haven't really been keeping track of my symptoms. I'm going to start writing a weekly update like I did last time. Partly because the weeks are flying by and I'm not sure this baby is getting much of my attention, maybe carving out some space here will help with that. And hopefully, it will help me find my writing mojo again because that has been severely lacking in recent months. 

This is probably the most interesting of my life plans for 2020 (apart from having a baby obviously). Other than this, I am mostly trying to be more organised and live in less chaos and read more books. But these are my plans every year and I rarely achieve them. I did read more last year but only in the first half of the year, I'm not sure what went wrong after that. Hopefully this year I will manage to achieve all of my goals.

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