Wednesday 7 October 2015

Not Little for Long

One thing I’ve noticed since Ebony started attending nursery each morning, time is flying. The routine of getting up at the same time each day, dressing in the same clothes and rushing out of the house five minutes late is somehow making time pass quicker.

By the time I get home and sit in front of my laptop, I’ve already lost half an hour of my working day. I spend my mornings writing, the rush out of the door just in time to be late to pick her up. By the time we’re home, changed and fed, it feels like most of the day is gone. We spend our afternoons with friends, family or having adventures just the two of us. Before I know it, it’s bedtime and another day is over.

As I lie in her bed, her head snuggled against my arm, listening to the steady flow of her breathing, I often end up wondering whether the rest of her life will be like this. Will we get used to the time divide of nursery, and adjust to having just our afternoons? Or will the entire year speed by whilst we rush around trying to catch up with everything that needs to be done? And after this year, when she starts school, will the weeks be even more blurry?

Will I catch just a glimpse of her each day, before and after school, as I rush around making sure she is fed and clothed and happy? Will I always long for the days of old, when we had no distractions but each other? When we could read, play and lie together just as long as we wanted. When the world was our oyster, and all of the time in it was ours and ours alone. When we could get up in the morning and do whatever we liked. Before life really began.

Will her whole life fly by? Or will it slow down again, allowing me to enjoy my little girl before she grows? Because that little girl is so lovely, and spending time with her is my favourite thing to do. I love to hear her stories, play her games and breathe her in. I don’t want these days to end. I want to enjoy each day for as long as I can, because since she started nursery one thing has become very clear, my little girl won’t be little for long.

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