Thursday 21 July 2016

Just the two of us

Firstly, I really hope the title of this post has put the hit song Just the two of us in your head. But not the proper version, the Mike Myers version, because that is currently what’s stuck in my head.

I’m 37 weeks now and the days are disappearing fast. Like, way too fast, I am not getting through my to-do list at all. Unless you count my secret to-do list which simply says “sit down, knit, eat all the ice lollies’. I’m getting through that list at the speed of the light. In fact, that reminds me, I need to buy more ice lollies.

I am really excited about giving birth. I can’t wait to meet the new baby. I can’t work to not be pregnant anymore and be able to go more than five minutes without needing to pee. I feel really excited about this huge step, but I’m also feeling a little sad. It’s weird to think that it won’t just be me and Ebony anymore.

Ever since she was born, we have spent most of our time together, just the two of us. While Laurie’s been busy at work, we’ve hung out at home. We’ve been on adventures, got lost in games and spent hours just chatting. It’s weird to think that very soon there’ll be someone else there during all of those moments.

Ebony is really excited about becoming a big sister. She was upset the other day, she was quieter than normal and seemed a little withdrawn so I asked her if she was feeling worried about the new baby. I keep expecting her to feel worried or scared about it, but she just scrunched her nose up and said “why would I be sad about that? I’m going to be a big sister!” She is so excited about meeting the new baby and always tells me how much she already loves her new brother or sister. I know she’s going to be an amazing big sister, even though I’m sure there’ll be a period of adjustment as we all get used to being a family of four.

The idea of a baby is lovely, but the reality might be a little harder to stomach. She knows they feed a lot, but I don’t think she’ll really understand the impact that will have on our daily lives until the baby is right there in front of her. She knows they wake up in the night lots, but she might be less understanding when the baby wakes her up.

With our time together as a two coming to an end, I really wanted to do something special, just the two of us. From September, Ebony will be in full-time education and just typing that made me want to cry. I am going to miss her so much and will hate the loss of the freedom we have now. With my due date in mid-August, we will probably have two weeks of summer holidays together before the baby arrives. But, I can already tell I won’t be up for many adventures then. I’m hoping we can spend those days playing in the garden and staying close to home.

I was keen to do something before I got too pregnant, so yesterday we headed into Manchester for the day. I wanted Ebony to choose an outfit for the new baby because it seemed like a good way of getting her involved. One of her jobs at the birth is going to be getting the clothes once the baby is born. We walked around a lot of shops looking for gender neutral newborn clothes but there were hardly any. Why?! Why is everything pink or blue and covered in cars?! Jesus Christ.

The problem with gender neutral parenting is that Ebony didn’t understand why we couldn’t just buy the pink stuff. “But boys like pink too, mummy, it’s just a colour,” she kept pointing out whilst I awkwardly tried to explain that a future brother may not thank her or selecting a bright pink babygro covered in strawberries. I’m totally with her, of course, but it really seemed like the sort of thing that would be brought up at Christmas for years to come. After going to All The Shops, Ebony said we should get two outfits, one for a boy and one for a girl. My bank balance groaned (collapsed?) but I agreed, I couldn’t handle the thought of walking to anymore shops.

We went to Yo Sushi for lunch (all I want to eat all the time is their Yasai Gyoza dumplings) and ate more sushi than is socially acceptable. Laurie came to join us for a bit of sushi at the end and Ebony was really excited to see him. After lunch, we went to the cinema to watch Ice Age: Collision Course. Ebony thought it was hilarious and I had a pretty good nap. Then we did a little more shopping on the way back to the station.

I realised yesterday just how pregnant I am. I have been feeling pretty good this pregnancy, I haven’t suffered from Pelvic Girdle Pain or backache like I did last time. Unless I overdo it, that is. And a day trip to Manchester was definitely overdoing it. I may have cried a bit.

It was really lovely to spend that little bit of time with Ebony, just the two of us (building castles in the sky). I might have spent most of the evening crying in the bath, but it was worth a bit of pelvic pain to have another memory to treasure with Ebony. It’s weird to think we only have a couple of weeks together as a family of three. And I know that when the baby arrives, it will be a big leap to life as a family of four.

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