Week 13, according to my pregnancy app the baby is now around the size of a matchbox car. Time seems to be flying by now that we’ve had the scan. I’ve been busy with work and sometimes feel guilty that I haven’t had as much time to just sit and think about the pregnancy as I did last time. But I don’t suppose sitting and thinking does much good anyway, so I’m trying to push that guilt out of my mind.
I felt ok at the start of week 13, I was sick once but had spent a few days feeling human. I wasn’t throwing up all evening and I had even started to get my energy back. It suddenly felt like I was back to my old self though it turned out to be short-lived.
I went out with friends on Friday and probably stayed out a little late and then spent the whole weekend trying to catch up on sleep. It’s crazy how much a single night out can affect you when you’re pregnant. I started being sick again on Saturday and this lasted until at least Monday. I’m still feeling really nauseous but seem to be able to better control it so I’m not actually throwing up now. I tried using polos again but they made everything so much work, so I’m now avoiding polos like the plague (which I actually never have to avoid).
I’ve felt a little bit anxious at times. I think a lack of sleep really affects me and turns me into a blubbering mess. I spent most of the weekend with a crippling headache after a stupidly late night on Friday (not that late, but late for me at 13 weeks pregnant). My head was really sore and I don’t want to take painkillers if I can help it at the moment, so I’d pretty much spent the whole weekend in bed.
My eyes were really sore and as I was waiting to drop off to sleep one night, I suddenly thought ‘what if I wake up tomorrow and my eyes don’t work anymore?’ Probably this is an odd thought, but it’s not unusual for me to think of dramatic scenarios in my head. The only difference was that this time, I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I started imagining how awful it would be to never see Ebony’s face again, or to know what she looked like as a grown up, and I just couldn’t stop sobbing. I had to go and sleep in her bed in the end so I could stare at her face a bit before I went to sleep.
The next morning I realised that I might be a little anxious, so I’ve been more conscious of it and that has helped. There has been no more sobbing over irrational thoughts, so that’s good.
I’ve felt some things that feel a lot like movements, but I can’t say for sure whether they are. They feel exactly like the little nudges I felt with Ebony, but I sort of feel like it must be too soon for that at 13 weeks so perhaps it’s just things inside moving around to make room.
I’m looking forward to reaching the second trimester and hopefully feeling a little more like myself next week.
