Thursday, 20 March 2014

Blog Challenge: Great Adventure #38




Spring is here! Spring is here! Ebony and I breathed out a huge collective sigh of relief when the sun appeared last week. We spent whole afternoons in the garden, we had a barbecue (a bit premature perhaps, it was cold by the time we were eating), and we stopped wearing our coats. Well, I did, Ebony has never been a big fan of outer wear.

We were hoping to go for an adventure last weekend, but alas, weddings, hangovers, drinking and work got in the way. The downside of my life is that I do spend a fair amount of each weekend hunched over my laptop, working, but it’s worth it to spend each weekday with Ebony. Or it is when she’s in a nice mood, anyway.

We went to a local playgroup yesterday. It’s not the greatest group in the world. There’s a very strong LOVE JESUS theme running throughout the session, and it’s usually quite manic. The children run riot, fights break out, and Ebony usually ends up getting run over by a crazy-eyed toddler suffering a bad case of road rage behind the wheel of a red and yellow car. It’s not my favourite group, but it’s local and cheap, so we go when we’re ready on time. By on time, I mean 45 minutes late, because there is no way in hell I could spend 90 minutes at that group.

Ebony made a crown at playgroup yesterday. A crown, I kid you not, TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU. The group is run by a woman who can associate anything (crowns, boxes, row row row your boat) with God’s unrelenting love. Ebony was very proud of her crown, probably because it had stickers on, but possibly because it signified God’s devotion to her.

She wore the crown most of the way home. It was a slow journey. She walked most of the way in a side-step, and occasionally ran very fast in the wrong direction. I was carrying no fewer than four big jigsaws, so this was not a fun journey. Eventually, after three “Hehe, looks like it’ll take you a while to get home!” comments from amused strangers, we reached the fields. I decided to cut my losses, and give up using jigsaw boxes to stop Ebony running into oncoming traffic, and instead suggested we walk through the fields.

Ebony misheard and thought I said, “Let’s lean against a fence and refuse to move for five whole minutes.” But once we’d cleared up that misunderstanding, we were on our way. I saw a ladybird walking on the path in front of us, and called Ebony over to see. She immediately thrust her crotch towards it while shouting “Ladybird!” Once, I am told, a ladybird walked under her legs when she was out with Laurie, but when she does this stance, it looks like she is aggressively referring to her privates as her ladybird. I thought we should move the ladybird from the path, so we coaxed it onto a leaf and placed it on the grass.

Ebony charged on, desperately trying to find more ladybirds. We ran across the field together, stopped to look at flowers and sticks along the way. At the end of the field are some steps, Ebony climbed most of the way herself before stopping.

Ebony: Dog poo, mummy!
Me: Oh dear, yes. Let’s go round it.
Ebony: Move it, mummy!
Me: Me? Oh no, I think the council are in charge of moving dog poo.
Ebony: Ok. Wait council.
Me: Come on then.
Ebony: No, wait council. Ebony wait.
Me: But the council are really slow...and may not even know about the poo.
Ebony while rolling eyes, shaking head and tutting: Bloody council.

After that Ebony found some fallen seeds to inspect, lots of daffodils to smell, and another field to speed across. Then we had a quick stop off at the park. I say park, it’s one swing situated on a depressing expanse of concrete. There are marks where other park equipment should be. A little girl, who was politely waiting for her go on the one swing, told me that the other equipment was removed by the council because older boys stuck chewing gum on it. Bloody council.

Have you been on any adventures this week?

Find out more about our great adventures here.

20 comments:

  1. This post really sums up a typical walk with young children- love it! I love the top photo! x

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  2. haha! Kids say the best things don't they?! Looks like a great adventure :)

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  3. We got to a local church playgroup, but luckily they keep religion to a minimum (I was given a newsletter once and that was about it). Know what you mean about being strategically late! Sounds like a fun adventure. Everything's much more fun in the spring, isn't it?

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  4. THAT JUMPER! seriously it's so cute. i really don't like the idea of really forcing christianity/religion on very young children in such a way, but at least she made something she liked. and i loved that little convo!

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    1. Haha! I found an 80s Disney knitting pattern book for 10p in my local charity shop, so my mum knitted this one for her. Some of the patterns were AMAZING. x

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  5. This really made me laugh! I went to a group at my local church a few times but luckily they didn't try and force the religious part of it on anyone! x

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  6. We met a ladybird on a recent adventure (not yet blogged), I really hope it's still alive... Love Ebony wanting to wait for the council, well, why not? I have had to stop pointing dog poo out because this apparently doesn't mean 'so let's avoid it' but 'this is the funniest thing ever and we should come really close to try and pick it up'.

    Here's my most recent write-up, lots of snowdrops! http://chatiryworld.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/great-adventure-15/

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  7. I love this so much and her Crown is so sweet and I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of the lady who makes them puts God love into all her creations, all I can think when I hear things like that is "so what about Dinosaurs" explain that one :) Beautiful photos and Hello spring :)

    Laura

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  8. Hooray for spring! I love that intangible feeling you get when you go outside and take a breath and something just feels different, and you know that spring has arrived.

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    1. Yes, it's lovely. But it keeps happening here, every two days... because bloody winter keeps making a comeback. Bah.

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  9. haha I LOVE the things they come out with now, Wilf says 'bugger' quite a bit now (whoops!) but it's hilarious. Also that pose is brilliant x

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    1. Haha, Ebony has said far worse... now watching my language...

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  10. I actually laughed out loud at ladybird privates!

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  11. From the Tatton Park post, you must be local to me. This sounds eerily like a playgroup in Northwich that tried to convert me. I ran. Very fast.

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    1. Haha, ah yes, we live on the outskirts of Stockport, so possibly the opposite side of Tatton Park to you? x

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  12. I am so against religious playgroups - it's so annoying...they must know we all go there for a break and to let our little ones run around and not to turn to the Church!! So happy that Spring is on its way though - yippee!!

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    1. Haha, they're all religious round here because they're held in Churches, but most don't mention it like this particular woman! x

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