Monday, 2 April 2012

20 Reasons Why I Hate David Cameron




So, I was checking my blog analytics the other day and I discovered that five people (ok, that’s not loads, but still) have found my blog by searching for “reasons to hate David Cameron”. Obviously I felt very proud, because I do have quite a dislike for the man. And I am honoured to be high enough on the Google list that people actually click on my blog. But also, I felt sad that these people had been led to my blog only to discover one measly post on the subject. So I thought I should probably write another, after all, there are so many reasons.

[Disclaimer: Prepare for some swearing. Sorry, I know it’s unnecessary and offends some people. But that’s exactly how I feel about David Cameron and he’s still the twatting Prime Minister.]
So here it is, a quick list of reasons why I hate David Cameron:
1. He took our beloved NHS, ripped it a new one, and then fucked it. 
2. And then claimed he didn’t.
3. He claimed Britain was a ‘Christian country’ and called for a revival of traditional Christian values. I am not a Christian, and I do not think Britain should be governed according to Christian beliefs.
4. He has the eyes of a pig. No offense to pigs. 
5. His Government is trying to make huge changes to abortion laws and, ultimately, restrict access to abortion services for thousands of women in the UK.
6. He tries really hard to be down with the kids, and fails. Remember the time he said ‘twat’ on a radio breakfast show?
7. He is sexist. He once told a female MP to “calm down, dear.”  And described another female MP as sexually frustrated. 
8. He makes the UK look like bumbling idiots on the international stage. Did you see the coverage of him with Obama? It was humiliating. Especially the bit where they played ping pong. Obama is awesome, Cameron is a douche. And everyone in the world knows it.
9. He thinks it is acceptable for the Government to force social media blackouts, and ban certain citizens from using the sites, as suggested during the summer riots.
10. It was announced today that he wants to read your emails. Yes, your personal emails. They’re his business now. 
11. He vetoed the Eurozone deal, and upset most of Europe in the process. Smooth, Dave, smooth.
12. He has forced us to live in a society where the person running the country releases statements informing us of their lunch choices. I don’t give a crap if the Prime Minister eats pasties. He’s the political equivalent of a Facebook status update. Just shut up and do your job!
13. The wanker shoots rabbits. Rabbits, you know, those cute lovable animals? Yeah them, and their babies. What a heartless wanker.
14. He’s making a real mess of this country.
15. His cuts are affecting vulnerable people the most.
16. His tax cuts are protecting the rich, and ensuring they are able to stay as rich as possible.
17. His face.
18. His government seems confused and u-turns repeatedly on many issues including the forest sell off, the NHS and a ban on the use of wild animal circuses.
19. He increased tuition fees, and decreased the number of graduate jobs. And he doesn’t give a crap about out of work graduates.
20. He’s really fucking posh.
This is just a quick list, obviously there are many, many more reasons that I am not a card carrying member of his fan club. Please feel free to share your reasons in the comments section below. I’m always on the look out for more things to feel angry about!
Of course, it doesn’t matter how many reasons we can come up with, he won’t care. David Cameron doesn’t care what we think about his politics, only what we think about his pasties.

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